Finally Crashing

I can feel my body giving up. I’ve had a hard few weeks with my husband having his procedure, rushing around for Christmas, then having Christmas, worrying about hurting feelings because I didn’t attend this one’s or that one’s Christmas party and now that the worries are finally easing up, my body is starting to crash.

IC, fibro, IBS, mental issues, they all crash together and I fall apart. I may go into a long sleeping period because I’m too tired to do anything else, but I have been fighting that each time it comes along. I need to be able to function at some capacity. My husband takes on so much of the work around here and does so much for me when I crash, that I feel guilty for, well, forever! I need a way to wind down easier instead of crashing all at once, but I’ve not found that scenario as of yet.

Those of us that live with invisible illnesses know all too well how the highs and lows effect us. We pull it all together for show when around people and then let it all hang out when at home. It is a vicious cycle when we have to pull it all together to try to look and function normally when inside we are in knots fighting the battles against our illnesses. Once we relax, the illnesses attack and we lose. I’m currently losing. My IBS is not happy, my fibro is raging and my IC keeps me in the bathroom. I’m sick of being sick, but hasn’t that been said a million times by each of us.

New Year’s should be an easy holiday. No expectations, just sitting at home watching TV, relaxing and eating a one pot meal. We don’t go out due to my illnesses and the fact is it just isn’t fun for us any more, we don’t fit in with the party crowd any longer. I can’t party, I’m on too many medications, and it is much more relaxing to stay home in my jammies watching the New Year roll in.

I do hope that everyone has a Happy New Year and that the New Year brings blessing and cures for our illnesses. Wouldn’t that be miraculous, to have a cure for something. I would like a cure for diabetes. I’ve learned to live with my other problems, but have a difficult time with diabetes.

Take care, today is a gift we must appreciate, as miserable as we may feel. ~Peace


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