Feeling Defeated

I’m so tired today. I feel defeated. I felt good yesterday and got some things done while taking care of my sick husband. He is feeling better today, I’m glad to say, and I’m crashing. I guess my worry for him and having to drive (which I seldom do) made me overly anxious so I will suffer the consequences now. I was up at 4am this morning, but back in bed at 6am and up again at 9am. It’s 10am and I’m ready for another nap. I feel like I will be in bed often today.

I think often of the olden days, those days that were filled with activities and no aches and pains. I used to work a full time job, come home cook a full meal, then head off to my son’s ball game or practice, stay out and about until after 10pm and get home do laundry and get to bed late, then up again to work the next day to do it all over again. I never really ran out of energy in an extreme way, like I do now. If I had aches and pains, I usually had the flu. I sure miss those days.

I also miss getting to go fishing out in the sunshine. I’m not allowed in the sunshine anymore, it makes me break out in an itchy rash. I believe it is from my medications, but until I’m not taking those medications, I won’t know for certain if it is my body or not.

So defeated I am. I must lay down now. I’m way too tired to continue. Have a good day.

~Peace

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6 comments

  1. qwietpleez

    I hesitated clicking that little like button for no other reason than I understand too well and can relate . . . I stayed up late last night laughing into the early morning hours with my family, knowing the price I’d be paying today. My body is punishing me, but my heart says it was worth it.

    I try not to think of the me ‘before’, when I do, I feel I’ve failed somehow, I know it isn’t true, but still . . . Sorry, today is one of those days. I really just wanted to stop and say I get it, sometimes it helps me to know there are those out there who do. Makes me feel so much less alone on days like these. Hugs (virtual ones, the best kind sometimes) and prayers 💕

    Liked by 2 people

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