My Personal Craft Choices & My Mom

With debilitating illnesses, it is often hard to get the chores around the house done, but my mind is still strong where my body is failing. I may not be able to sweep the floor today, but I can do something creative while having to stay bed ridden. If my pain is not so great that it takes my mental capacity I can work on my blog. I’ve grown to love this blog. I write about things that are illness related, and sometimes just things that are on my mind.

Today, I felt like sharing my personal crafts. During the cold days (they are few) I like to crochet. The yarn makes me too hot to do it on warm days. I also enjoy coloring, if I’m not bedridden, sitting in my chair is the best place to color, I have a special lamp so I can see the colors better. And a caddy for my colored pencils so it is easy to access and move quickly.

I also scrapbook, but I have to feel really good to be able to do that, because it requires sitting up in an office chair instead of leaning back in my recliner. With interstitial cystitis (IC) sitting up for very long puts too much pressure on the bladder and can cause a flare. I can’t stand up long either, so I usually gather whatever crafting supplies I’m going to need and head to my recliner.

Beading is another craft that I have done, but I find it a bit hard to do with IC because I get the beads sorted and spread out across my lap, then I have to get up and go to the bathroom 20 times (literally) before I can get anything done. Crochet is easy to set aside, as is coloring.

I also have my essential oils. I read about what I want to do, take notes, make my plans, then go to my area where I keep them stored and make my synergies. I have 2 essential oil diffusers in the house, one in the living room near my chair and one in the bedroom. I am probably not getting all of the benefits of the oils as of yet, but I’m still learning.

One craft I love to do is soap making, but I have to really feel good and be able to endure at least 3 hours of not sitting in my chair. I’m either sitting on a stool in the kitchen or standing up. It also requires that I am able to stay very mindful of what I am doing. I haven’t made soap in over 3 years, I just haven’t felt like it. I’m running out too, I need to make some, I find it less harsh than store-bought soaps. It makes me feel like a chemist to do it, measuring out everything exactly and creating something completely different from which it started out. I make hot process, where I cook it until it is done, no need to set up for 6 weeks before use. So staying in the kitchen with it constantly is imperative. I need someone here with me when I do it too, so I can rush to the bathroom and back without something horrible happening, like it overflowing the pot, which has happened and made a huge mess.

Today is a bad day for me, I’m trying to not think about it by writing about stuff that isn’t important. I’m trying to be light and forget that 3 years ago today I held my Mom’s hand as she passed away. I think I’ve done good with it emotionally, but I miss her and it took a physical toll on me. I guess that means the emotional part wasn’t as intact as I thought it was. She taught me to crochet, encouraged me to make soap by making it herself, she taught me about art and poetry writing. About writing in general, she wrote 3 books and self published them. I need to get them on Amazon, but seem to get ill every time I consider doing it. I suppose it is the emotional part of me that controls a lot of my physical being and keeps me from doing some things that I want to do, because I’m afraid of the emotions that will arise if I attempt them. Isn’t that always the way?

I opened the can of worms, I might as well let them out, she passed from MRSA after having broken her hip and having a hip replacement. There was no need for her to have passed if the doctor that did the surgery had ever paid her any attention, but he did not. I had to fire him and hire another dr to take over the case, he worked diligently to save her life, but it was too late. Once MRSA sets in, it is near impossible to get rid of and she died within hours of the discovery. I won’t say she went peacefully, because she wasn’t ready to go, she had told me not to let them kill her, but I feel like that’s exactly what happened. I have no way to prove it, or pursue it legally, so I let it be. I don’t think I could handle any legal action anyway, it would probably kill me.

She is missed greatly. I must close this now. Think about the crafts, I will be busy today trying to keep my mind busy with anything and everything. You do the same.

~Peace

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