This past week has been a hard one. I have felt guilty for not being able to help someone in need although they have someone who isn’t ill to help them. I still feel guilty. I have this feeling a lot, but if I push myself to do things that are out of my “spoonie” realm, I regret it for quite some time. However, the guilt and stress from another thing heavy on my mind has put me into an IC (interstitial cystitis) flare, which has put me down and unable to do diddly-squat around the house.
I look around and see things that have not been really cleaned in years because I just don’t have the ability to do it any longer. I want to box these things up and sell them at a garage sale, or donate them to a good organization, but I don’t have the energy or endurance to do that either.
We have errands that need taken care of in town too. I imagine we will do those tomorrow, no matter how I feel, I will force myself to get out and get things done. It will either help me or hurt me more. Sometimes getting out helps me. It takes my mind off of my worries. I’m a chronic worrier.
Another worry for the day – I don’t remember if I took my diabetic medication this morning. My blood sugar always runs high, so I can’t rely on it to tell me if I took it. I’m just a mess of brain fog and pain medication.
My fibromyalgia has been behaving lately. This is a plus! I try to find something positive every day, so there it is.