This past week has been a hard one. I have felt guilty for not being able to help someone in need although they have someone who isn’t ill to help them. I still feel guilty. I have this feeling a lot, but if I push myself to do things that are out of my “spoonie” realm, I regret it for quite some time. However, the guilt and stress from another thing heavy on my mind has put me into an IC (interstitial cystitis) flare, which has put me down and unable to do diddly-squat around the house.
I look around and see things that have not been really cleaned in years because I just don’t have the ability to do it any longer. I want to box these things up and sell them at a garage sale, or donate them to a good organization, but I don’t have the energy or endurance to do that either.
We have errands that need taken care of in town too. I imagine we will do those tomorrow, no matter how I feel, I will force myself to get out and get things done. It will either help me or hurt me more. Sometimes getting out helps me. It takes my mind off of my worries. I’m a chronic worrier.
Another worry for the day – I don’t remember if I took my diabetic medication this morning. My blood sugar always runs high, so I can’t rely on it to tell me if I took it. I’m just a mess of brain fog and pain medication.
My fibromyalgia has been behaving lately. This is a plus! I try to find something positive every day, so there it is.
~Peace
Invisible Illnesses 
I know that feeling. We can only give so much before it hurts us. You did the right thing by standing back… by drawing the boundary and saying no. It’s not as if you left the person high and dry, they had someone else to help them. You have to take care of yourself… that’s important. But I know it’s easy to say you did the right thing…but feeling guilty about it is just part of it. Just know that you did the right thing and I am proud of you for that. It’s not easy to do. hugs
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Thank you so much! I have felt really guilty, but you are right, I didn’t leave them high and dry.
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I think it’s safe to say that if that person really needed help and they didn’t have someone else you would have found a way to help them, whether it was you finding the strength to do it yourself or you finding someone to help them. I know that because that’s what I would do too. I think we are similar in that way.
And you know what??? There’s nothing wrong with outsourcing a problem. I’ve done that on a few occasions where someone needed my help but I was in no state to do it myself because of my health, so I found another person (either a friend or my boyfriend) to help them for me.
So if in the future something similar to this happens again, just know that that is okay too. You are doing the best you can with what you have.
And really all the guilt is just bringing you down and making your health worse. Just try to release it. Maybe you can check in on your friend soon by text or phone call and make sure everything is okay. That could help ease the guilt too.
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You are so right! I think all of us with illnesses go through this. I have outsourced my husband before, other times I have sucked it up and done it myself, but the end result was a flare. So I am completely with you on this one. Thank you so much for your caring and concern.
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That’s great. I am glad to be here for you. I do truly believe that we need to be here for each other because who else can possibly understand what we are going through?
You are a good person and a good friend. I know that to be true 🙂
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Thank you, you are right, we need to be here for each other. I will lean more on those that offer help, instead of thinking I can do it all.
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To be honest with you, this is something that I am really just learning to do myself… leaning on others. It’s hard to do. It’s much easier to talk about and tell others to do. But I have been actively trying to practice it, since self-care is my resolution for the new year. I have my self-care my top priority. That includes knowing my limits, learning to ask for help and not always feeling so guilty for not being able to do something. Not only that but I have told all the people in my support system about this, so that they all know and are aware and can be here for me or remind me when I’m not taking care of myself. Because it’s very easy for me (people who are chronically ill) to forget that we need to care for ourselves first. But that’s why I started my blog and told everyone I know about it…to keep myself in check and to help others. We can’t do it all…even though we might want to…instead we need to remember self-care is more important. and if the people in our lives don’t understand then maybe they shouldn’t be in our lives. And if they do understand…then why should we be so stressed? Again..easier said than done lol. But that’s the idea anyways.
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It takes a lot of practice to leave things undone. I have learned to do that at home, and not feel guilty about it. I hope you get to that point. I will eventually hire someone to come in and help me have a garage sale. At least that is my plan. My husband helps me as much as he can while working a full time job. He is a gem. Thank you for caring so much. I hope your support system is as good as my husband.
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