Do you ever feel useless? Like your life is meaningless? I often have these feelings, especially when I am feeling really bad. My physical pain brings my mental state down very quickly, and I find myself struggling to imagine any good in my life.
These feelings are usually short-lived, but the fact that I have them at all, is a problem, in my opinion. I need to be upbeat, happy and grateful for all that I have and the family support in which I have been blessed.
But blessed or not, these bad feelings do arise. More often than not. I lose my train of thought, I lose my mind trying to regain my train of thought. It’s a vicious cycle. One that I must endure for the rest of my life.
So why fight it? I must fight it to maintain my sanity. It robs me of my mental capabilities for short periods of time. Pain is the culprit that steals my happiness and mental capabilities. I stumble on words, especially when speaking. I know I look or sound like an idiot to some people, but they do not know what pain can do to a person.
Only those who suffer from pain on a regular basis can identify with what I am going through and have empathy for my struggles. I know that this pain will not kill me. That is a weight lifted off my mind, but not knowing when the pain will cease is a huge weight to carry.
I wish for all my chronic pain suffering friends to find some relief and be able to carry on in life with dignity and defiance of that soul sucking demon known as pain.