How much more can I take?

I’ve been absent from this blog for a while now. I’ve spent some time writing a few daily prompts, but I have not felt like doing that of late.

I’ve had 4 surgeries this year. I’m tired, so very tired and I have 1 more surgery to go to finish it up. But that is not really what is bothering me. I have started going to a new diabetic doctor. He is intimidating and that is not something I usually allow to happen to me. I usually speak my mind and fight for what I want, but this doctor has a way of making you feel inferior. I don’t like him. I don’t like his office staff, they too try to make you feel inferior. But, in this small town, he is the only actual endocrinologist and I need his expertise so I’ve been trying to suck it up and mind my manners, but today, I lost my cool.

I went and picked up new prescriptions and my insulin. I was surprised that my insulin was $100 cheaper than normal, but accepted it as something great and didn’t question it. ALWAYS QUESTION IT! I got 2 vials of insulin for that $100 where as I usually get 6 vials for $200. A huge difference. I was hot! Why would they only prescribe 2 vials of something I am going to have to be on for the rest of my life? It made no sense to me! Why not try to save me some money as much as possible? And WHY do dope heads get free drugs and we sick people have to struggle to make ends meet? Oh I’m on a soapbox now!

I know everyone has heard it before, so I will step off the soapbox, but dang it, it just isn’t fair and I’ve been through too much this year to have to deal with incompetent office staff and/or doctors. I always try to give a new doctor time to get to know me and my allergies, as I get to know their idiosyncrasies. But this bunch of idiots has me stymied.

AND after 1, ONE, new pill, I’m sick to my stomach. I hate being sick to my stomach. I can handle a lot of issues, pain, going to pee 20 times a day, sleeplessness, but an upset stomach worries me because I don’t know whether to put something on it or avoid everything. I took the pill with food, so that tells me that adding food isn’t going to help. Oh the dilemmas I face. ha! I need to stand back and take a good hard look at things. There are many people out there that have things much worse than I do. Someone is actually throwing up while I’m just fussing about a belly ache. I must find the positive. This new doctor is trying to get my diabetes under control. He is trying to get my vitamin D levels back up and he is trying to help me feel better. I must remember these things even though he has a weird attitude and his office staff are less than efficient. I will survive this, as I will survive the next surgery, making my total 5 this year. I think I will get to rest after that. I hope I will anyway. Pray for me if you are a prayer and if not, send me positive energy. I need all of the positive reinforcement I can get right now.




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