Hi everyone, I haven’t been present the last few days. I’ve been depressed and avoiding the computer and the activity that keeps me sane. So yes, I’ve lost track of the days and my sanity. Deep breaths here. Now, I think I can carry on.
I found a lump in one of my breasts back on the evening of February 5th and I’ve been unable to get a mammogram or any kind of testing done to get it checked out since. Either my doctor’s office won’t cooperate, or the imaging center can’t get it together, but I’m about to lose my mind. I’ve tried keeping busy with my crafting. I make junk journals and they help relieve some of the tension, then I get tired and have to go lay down for a while and my brain goes in to over drive and I lose track of all rational thoughts. So I rest my eyes a bit and then get back up to craft again. It’s a vicious cycle.
Today was a little different. The doctor’s office got it right, the imaging center got it right, then the insurance got it all wrong, so I may never get a exam to diagnose this lump. It’s so frustrating and I hate waiting for someone to call me back, it drives me crazy!
On to better news. My granddaughter, a sophomore in high school, has been recognized for her outstanding work in school and the community and she was on the front page of the news paper today. Not just on the front page, but taking up nearly all of the front page, her picture is huge and she is so beautiful! I can’t tell you how proud I am of her and her accomplishments thus far. She will go far in her education, I just feel it. She also runs track and does very well in the sport. They are in the season right now for it and she runs the mile, I think. My son told me what she runs, but I sometimes lose what he tells me before I get to write it down. Whatever distance she is running, she is doing well with it. My heart is full when it comes to her accomplishments.
My grandson is accomplished this semester too! He has some minor disabilities that have hindered him in the past but he is on track now to a successful year of school. His grades are up and he might actually make the A & B honor roll this year. That would be outstanding for him. Again, my heart is overflowing with pride.
I want to be around for a very long time to see my grand kids grow up and to do that, I need to be as healthy as I can, unfortunately, the odds are not in my favor. I presently feel so disgusted with everyone in the medical field because I can’t get the tests I need to see if what the lump could be. More than likely, it is nothing, but until they actually tell me that, I will worry. Deep breathes again and again, just don’t take away my worrying. I will keep trying to relax and think positive, but it is getting hard. I hate waiting on people and that’s what I’m doing, waiting on someone to call me with an appointment and hope that I can go soon to get the test ran that tells me I am fine.
Keep me in your positive thoughts and I’ll try to post more at a later date. Today’s word just caught my attention and I needed to vent a bit. Thanks for reading. Have a great day.