Category: Blog

Update on Husband

Thank you for your continued prayers. My husband’s heart attack scared me to death, but he is doing better. Unfortunately, he is not totally fixed. They placed 2 stents in his arteries, we were told one, but we were told wrong. And his heart rate keeps dropping to zero for 3 to 7 seconds at a time. They are trying to get him into a sleep apnea study so we can find out if sleep apnea might be causing the heart rate drops because they only happen at night when he is sleeping, so far. So it really sounds like apnea is the problem. His insurance, Blue Cross Blue Shield, will not pay for an in-clinic sleep study until he does a home sleep study. So we are waiting on the sleep study office to get a home machine in so he can do the study, the sooner the better so he doesn’t die in his sleep from his heart stopping.

If the sleep study does not show sleep apnea, he will have to have a pacemaker. This is a permanent situation that we are hoping it won’t come to. It would require him to lose his job, most likely, and we can’t afford that at this time in our lives. He is a machinist, welder and driller. He works in a machine shop around very large machines with magnets here and there and those are my concern, along with the fact that there is metal flying everywhere that could hit him and cause him to bleed out being on blood thinners and all. I’m a wreck, stressing about all of this and it hasn’t even come to this yet. Well, he is on blood thinners, but I think he would be ok as long as he wears his safety gear.

Anyway, I appreciate your prayers. Please continue, I need them as well. I’m so stressed out that my xanax isn’t working well enough for me.

You are all great, thank you!

~Tina

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Please pray for my husband

I wanted to ask for prayer for my husband, Doug. He had a heart attack on Wednesday morning. I got him to the ER before it became a massive heart attack and they got a stent in where there was 100% blockage. His heart rate won’t settle down now and they are talking about putting in a pace maker. I don’t drive and I’m having to do so, this is wearing me down to a frazzle. Please pray for us.

I will try to put updates as things improve or change. I’ve not taken much time for myself and this is one of those times I needed to take for both of us.

With all of the illnesses that I suffer, I am not good at being on this side of an illness. I don’t have the stamina to keep going and doing all the walking that is necessary to get from the parking lot to his room and just the pure fear of what has happened has really messed up my system, fibro is kicking in, my bladder is fighting with me, I’m having headaches, you name it, I’m having problems with it, but I have to remain strong for him.

Thank you so much for all of the good thoughts and prayers you can send this way.

Need prayer for the family

My friend will be taken off life support tonight. Please pray for the family and for me. Losing someone you have known and loved for 40 years is devastating. She was diagnosed in January and will die tonight. Metastatic lung cancer. When I’m over the shock I will try to write about this type of cancer.

Thank you for your prayers.

New Blog

I’ve started a new blog to hold all of my paintings. I decided that this one needed to remain about invisible illnesses and not about painting. You can visit it and see all of my paintings at: https://tinabrownsartblog.wordpress.com/

It is a shame that I can not take pictures straight, but the paintings are all in there no matter then slight angle. Hope you enjoy!

Also, our 17-year-old dog passed away last week and I’ve been broken-hearted since. I will never own another inside dog because the loss is greater than I can handle. She was such a good dog and rotten to the core. It is going to take a lot of time to get out of her routine, feeding, going out to use the bathroom, her excitement when we get home from town and her overall good naturedness. She is so missed.

I’m lost

I can’t find where to do the “menu” section now. It seems to have disappeared. I  could use some help if anyone knows how to do it please let me know. I put up a new painting and don’t know how to get it under the correct heading on my home page. I did get it on my page that contains all of my paintings, but I like to list them individually under the “My Paintings” heading. Can anyone help me please?

Thanks!

My Paintings Are Up

I got all of my paintings to date listed under:
https://invisibleillnessesblog.wordpress.com/my-painting-adventures/

I put them on separate pages so you can view them individual and all of the images will not slow your pc down. I live in a rural area and have slow internet, so I chose to do it this way for those of us that get tired of waiting for images to load.

Please leave comments and be sincere with your critiques. I’m not looking for praise, I’m looking for constructive criticism.

And if you want to start painting and need some help on selecting supplies or getting up the nerve to put something on canvas, just give me a holler and I’ll help any way I can.

Peace!

My New Hobby

I began a new hobby recently. I’m not really good at it, but I am enjoying myself. I think I might get better with practice, so I have been practicing every day. I have taken up painting with acrylic paints. I’ve had an art set that my Mom bought for me years ago and have always been afraid of failure so never tried until now. I don’t think I’m horrible at it, but I do need a lot of work. I will set up a page that contains all of my paintings to date and add more as I complete them.

I find it relaxing and it does not cause me any pain. I really like that about it. It also keeps me busy so I’m not snacking. That’s worth it’s weight in gold right there.

I am still selling Avon and have, unfortunately, allowed this blog to go to the wayside. I hope that by adding my paintings I will get back to daily posts.

Please take a look at my work and share yours if you paint, I would love to see it and I would also like it if you can offer me any tips or techniques that might not be present in my works. I know there are a lot of mistakes, remember I’m a beginner so be gentle.

I have set up a page, but have not added the photos of my paintings yet. I will try to do that tomorrow. Here is the link:
https://invisibleillnessesblog.wordpress.com/my-painting-adventures/

Peace!

Grief And Giving Thanks

Yesterday I attended my Uncle’s funeral. It was a hard day to say the least. I saw cousins I haven’t seen in years, they were all grieving the loss of the man who had raised them, nurtured them and taught their children vital life lessens. He was one of my favorite uncles when I was a child, but as he aged he became a little more outspoken than I cared for. This didn’t stop the fact that I was grieving for the man he once was. He always gave me the impression, as a youngster, that he was a jet-setter, a high-roller. He walked the line of alcoholism, but was fun-loving and care free.

I learned more about hot-rods from him than anyone else, as he owned a Oldsmobile 442 convertible when I was young and he allowed me to drive it when I was only 16. It was like living a dream. I loved that car, it’s pep, with the top down would always turn heads. My uncle was a free spirit when in that car.

Though he had a family of 4 daughters, that he cherished, his grandchildren became his pride and joy in his later years. He taught the ones that wanted to learn how to handle and shoot guns, he designed a firing range at his property in the country and taught concealed handgun classes along with my Dad. The two of them shared the love of guns and grew up only 2 years apart, which made for a great amount of companionship when neighbors were few and far between.

At the funeral, a graveside service, I witnessed his grandchildren fall apart, his children fall apart, but what broke my heart the most was to see my 86-year-old Father fall apart. It took me aback. I thought before the funeral that he had a grasp on things, but when they started playing Amazing Grace and my Dad broke down, knowing he had lost his life long buddy, it really tore me up.

If you have followed this blog, you know that I am not in good health. I lied to everyone there and told them I was doing good, when in actuality, I am a mess. Both physically and mentally. My mind rests on my Dad and his wife’s well-being as they are both in poor health, and this causes me a lot of stress. As for my body, the constant standing and walking to meet and greet everyone was very taxing. I have developed diabetic neuropathy in my legs and they are letting me know today just how much I am not allowed to do when it comes to walking and standing for long periods of time. It will take days if not a week to get my legs to stop hurting again. How many of you can function on a day-to-day basis with constant pain? It isn’t easy to carry on with such pain. Nor is it easy to carry this load of emotions that I have in my heart. My Dad was 2 years older than my Uncle and they both suffer/ed from the same aliment, COPD. As frail as my Dad was yesterday, I can only hope that he recovers from this loss and gets back to his physical therapy that seems to be helping his breathing a great deal. As for his wife, she tends to work herself to a breaking point to make sure others are well taken care of. I worry a great deal about her, she is my second Mom and I love her dearly.

I live out-of-town from my Father and must travel to get to him. This worries me. Thankfully one of my step sisters came into town and is staying with them for a few days to help them out. She is a gem and I’m so thankful for everything she does for them. When I am unable to be there, she can make it and take care of things that I would not be able to handle. If she can’t make it another step sister that lives closer can take charge. I am blessed to have them in my life.

I did get to visit with some of my cousins and see strengths that I know I will not have when I have to go through the loss of my Dad. One is particular has been through so much in her life and yet she was a pillar of strength. Yes, we cried together, but it was short-lived, we then visited about various things that warmed my heart. If she only knew how much I looked up to her, I think she would be surprised. As a youngster, I idolized her, she was the one I wanted to follow around the most, the one that I thought was the very best of all cousins, but she wanted to follow the older kids and I wasn’t allowed to. Her strength through her loss is amazing, and she will live with her Mom while transitioning into widowhood. This gives me comfort, knowing she is there to take care of my Aunt, who seems very frail right now. A quiet woman, but when she does talk, people listen.

I am so blessed to have the family I have. To be a part of such love and kindness, gratefulness and understanding. I hope that each of you that read this find some solace in any grief you may suffer. It is a hard thing to deal with, but it is necessary to heal.

~Peace

Pray for Texas

I’m writing today to ask that everyone pray for Texas. Houston, Galveston, Beaumont and Port Arthur are the main towns highlighted on the news, but there are many smaller rounded-glossy-black-icon-culture-state-texastowns between all of those that were hit just as hard and we need to remember them in our prayers.

I spoke with my son very briefly yesterday, he is a firefighter in Beaumont and things were very grim there. He had been working since 5pm on Tuesday evening and did not think he would be back home until Friday, if he got to come back home then.

We need to remember our hero’s as they work hard and go without sleep to help those in need. But do not forget all of the volunteers that have chosen to take off work and go searching for people to rescue with their own equipment.

So please pray for Texas and the hero’s that are working diligently to rescue those that are caught in flood waters.

 

How much more can I take. Part 2

Sigh. I tell you, I have been put through the wringer this year. And now my family is being affected. I just got off the phone with my son and he told me my grandson is having heart issues. They are doing blood work and he will see a pediatric cardiologist in about 2 weeks, but thankfully my son was home when the incident happened and he was able to hear it and take notes for the doctor. Seems his heart rate was very high and he felt like his heart was pounding out of his chest. He is NINE! It is amazing that he felt anything as active as he is but he felt it and reported it to his mom. Now to wait for the test results to come back and hope that it is just an imbalance of electrolytes.

Up until today, I have dealt with the surgeries, the possibility of carpal tunnel surgery, I have that test done on the 5th of September and my 5th surgery will be on Tuesday the 29th. Oh, that’s the 5th surgery for THIS year alone!

Let me tell you about the 4th surgery, wow! It was a simple cataract surgery, people have them everyday and it should have gone just fine, but me being me, well, it didn’t go as planned. The doctor hit a blood vessel on his way in with the needle to deaden my eye and it caused my eye to hemorrhage. They had to apply an extreme amount of pressure which caused a horrific black eye. Not just around the eye, but the eye-ball itself was black. It was hard to look at the first time I saw it when my husband took the bandage off, but I knew it would get better and go away eventually. I still have some purple under my eye and that seems to draw some attention to people who give accusing looks towards my husband. That really burns me up. Just ask me what happened, don’t assume something!

You want more disasters? I’ve got them. Our bank account was hacked. The hackers got away with 6 transactions to a Food Lion. I had never heard of Food Lion up until now. Luckily the bank refunded our money and was able to stop payment on the electronic checks they wrote. Oh but it gets better, I have received 6 notices from a collection agency telling me I have to pay for the transactions that the bank stopped payment on or they will pursue legal action. My nerves can’t take much more.

So I go in on Tuesday for my right eye cataract surgery, I am a LOT comprehensive. There is always the chance they will hit another blood vessel and give me a horrible black eye again, but there is also the very good chance they won’t. I’m choosing to believe that everything will go good with this surgery and the healing will take less time so I can get my glasses adjusted. I have astigmatism, so I will have to continue to wear glasses. I’m ok with that. I’m hoping that colors will be brighter once both eyes are done. I have a bit of color blindness and I hope that will go away too, but I don’t think it will since I have had it for so long.

I have been trying to take care of myself. Moving around as much as possible, keeping with my restrictions from surgeries and trying not to gain any weight. I’ve actually lost 6 pounds, what a positive! I needed a positive to come out of all of these events.

Take care of you and please keep me in your prayers and positive thoughts. I appreciate your thoughts and prayers in advance.

~Peace

 

How much more can I take?

I’ve been absent from this blog for a while now. I’ve spent some time writing a few daily prompts, but I have not felt like doing that of late.

I’ve had 4 surgeries this year. I’m tired, so very tired and I have 1 more surgery to go to finish it up. But that is not really what is bothering me. I have started going to a new diabetic doctor. He is intimidating and that is not something I usually allow to happen to me. I usually speak my mind and fight for what I want, but this doctor has a way of making you feel inferior. I don’t like him. I don’t like his office staff, they too try to make you feel inferior. But, in this small town, he is the only actual endocrinologist and I need his expertise so I’ve been trying to suck it up and mind my manners, but today, I lost my cool.

I went and picked up new prescriptions and my insulin. I was surprised that my insulin was $100 cheaper than normal, but accepted it as something great and didn’t question it. ALWAYS QUESTION IT! I got 2 vials of insulin for that $100 where as I usually get 6 vials for $200. A huge difference. I was hot! Why would they only prescribe 2 vials of something I am going to have to be on for the rest of my life? It made no sense to me! Why not try to save me some money as much as possible? And WHY do dope heads get free drugs and we sick people have to struggle to make ends meet? Oh I’m on a soapbox now!

I know everyone has heard it before, so I will step off the soapbox, but dang it, it just isn’t fair and I’ve been through too much this year to have to deal with incompetent office staff and/or doctors. I always try to give a new doctor time to get to know me and my allergies, as I get to know their idiosyncrasies. But this bunch of idiots has me stymied.

AND after 1, ONE, new pill, I’m sick to my stomach. I hate being sick to my stomach. I can handle a lot of issues, pain, going to pee 20 times a day, sleeplessness, but an upset stomach worries me because I don’t know whether to put something on it or avoid everything. I took the pill with food, so that tells me that adding food isn’t going to help. Oh the dilemmas I face. ha! I need to stand back and take a good hard look at things. There are many people out there that have things much worse than I do. Someone is actually throwing up while I’m just fussing about a belly ache. I must find the positive. This new doctor is trying to get my diabetes under control. He is trying to get my vitamin D levels back up and he is trying to help me feel better. I must remember these things even though he has a weird attitude and his office staff are less than efficient. I will survive this, as I will survive the next surgery, making my total 5 this year. I think I will get to rest after that. I hope I will anyway. Pray for me if you are a prayer and if not, send me positive energy. I need all of the positive reinforcement I can get right now.

~Peace

 

Help Me See The Invisible

Reblogging on Invisible Illnesses. Such a powerful story. Thank you!

RabBits

It’s one of the most popular burger places across from Stanford University in Palo Alto. I stepped in the long line to order and a woman with an 11-year old boy got in line behind me. She warned her son several times to be patient, yet she was a tad bit irritated herself. A mother-son verbal conflict arose, complete with that’s not fair versus a you don’t always get what you want speech.

At first, I just listened. The boy was on verge of a chaotic meltdown, and honestly, I thought she should make good on her promise to take him straight home if his impatience continued.

But then…

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Blog Networking: 8/2/17

Reblog on Invisible Illnesses

Dream Big, Dream Often

blog_01

Blog networking is one of the most undervalued and underused strategies for most.  But I believe it is at the core for growing a blog.

You will find links in this post to help eliminate some of the work; all you have to do is LIKE, COMMENT and FOLLOW others. The more you network with other blogs, the more other blogs will network with you!

Dream Desire Achieve

Better Twogether

Not A Grouch

Kim Knight – Author

Avon 365

Single Girls Rock

Blog of a Mad Black Woman

Aria-Bella Rises

Cyranny’s Cove

Tripping Through Treacle

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Magnet – Daily Prompt

What a sunny day it was today, too dang hot for me, but I went out on the porch and got some fresh air anyway. While going out, my sweet dog Chloe was laying near the doorway and I didn’t get the door opened wide enough. My hip scraped against the door facing and of course a cringe of pain was went through me. It was not an illusion of pain, but real pain, nearly dropping me to my knees.

I believe this right interstim is closer to the surface than the left one, leaving what feels like a paper thin layer of skin covering it. I do not know for sure if this is true, it is still too tender to really press on it for a good exam by myself. I will return to my local doctor in a few weeks. I know there is nothing that can be done about the placement of it because once you commit, you are set.

So I when I wheel over to the doctor in a couple of weeks I will not be as sore and he will be able to exam the surgical site much easier than I can, although I have placed my hand over it many times to make sure it is not getting a fever due to infection. So far so good.

Here’s a tidbit of information you probably did not know. A magnet will turn the interstim off. So when I am not feeling the stimulation, I know I have got too close to a security post at the store, or rubbed against a magnet at some point. Weird huh?

I have to say that the interstim is working wonderfully. I am very happy that I have these two devices that help me function and keep my pain at a lower level.

~Peace

Loop – Daily Prompt

Over the past week, post surgery, I am finally feeling relieved. My interstim is working, allowing me to visit the bathroom less times per day. But getting to this point was a challenge.

I was so sick after surgery. I have never been sick after surgery. What started out as a little dizziness changed to a blossom of chaos. I had my bottle of pain pills, but could not keep them down.

In my easy chair my husband had helped me create a comfortable sitting position with pillows around me, but the loop of throwing up would not subside.

I had to call my favorite paramedic, who always has a bag of necessary medications with him. He arrived and had to meddle into my medical history of the day, what they gave me, where they had the IV and then he voiced his opinion on how horrible a job the nurse did at placing the IV. Within seconds, he had a vein and administered the necessary medication to break the loop of throwing up episodes. I was able to rest easy for a few hours.

Now, nearly a week later, I’m feeling so much better. I am still weak and have to watch what I do, can’t lift, bend of stoop, but I can do for myself and that makes all the difference in the world.

~Peace