I have been working behind the scenes lately. I want to build my website into an information database for multiple illnesses.
These are pages that will remain visible on my main website so anyone can access them for information. My goal is to have as many illnesses, syndromes, disorders, researched and listed for quick references.
The next pages to be added to the list will be diverticulitis and generalized anxiety disorder.
Pages take a lot of research on my part to find the most relevant and easiest to understand information. It is time consuming, but something I love to do. So bare with me as I work to build my website into an information hub.
Do you know how hard it is to watch a loved one suffer? I have watched my husband suffer with a chronic pain in his hips and left calf for years now. We finally found a doctor to diagnose the problem. Peripheral Artery Disease, or PAD. He recently went through a procedure that removed the 100% blockage from his left leg and returned blood flow. He is feeling much better now. His hips still hurt him when he walks too far, but his leg is no longer bothering him. I was worried sick. Literally. I’m a high strung person when it comes to worry and stress. Though he was not worried, I worried enough for both of us and our son.
It was up to me to take care of the dogs, feed and water, make sure there weren’t any accidents from our elderly dog and tend to all the household chores, after spending all day at the hospital with my husband, these simple tasks were monumental for me. Needless to say, the household chores did not get done. I managed to microwave myself some food, but did not get the dishes done. I was so tired and still worrying because he was not home with me where he belonged.
Our elderly dog, Chloe, was worried too. When I took her out to tinkle, she noticed his truck was home, but he was not, she fretted all night about him coming home from work. Neither of us slept well.
The following day gave us much relief, he was released from the hospital and allowed to resume almost all activities. Mostly, keeping me sane. I fell apart once we were home, and went straight to bed. Between fibro and IC, I was a wreck. I had stressed so much about his health that I over looked my own. My blood sugar was too high, my body was rebelling, but he was home and I could fall apart, so I did. Chloe on the other hand was excited and followed him all around the house. She’s a daddy’s girl.
It’s been two days now and I’m still achy and having to take medication for pain. My bladder is in a flare-up and my back has started having spasms. I do deep breathing exercises, sniff calming essential oils, take my medications, but nothing can ease the mind when my husband is incapacitated.
I welcome comments on how you cope with such turmoil.
It’s 3:40 a.m. and I’ve already had my cup of coffee for the day. I should not be up this early, and I will end up back in bed, exhausted. I’m always exhausted. I can’t seem to get enough rest, no matter what time I go to bed, or get up. I attribute this to having to go urinate all the time. Every 2 hours without fail, at night. (Much more often during the day.) I finally wake up enough that I don’t even try to go back to sleep. And I have things on my mind. Christmas for one. I don’t want to celebrate it with a crowd of people. I want it to be an intimate celebration with my husband. But we’ve been asked to attend the family gathering, out of town, and I don’t think we are going to make it.
My husband has to have a procedure done on Tuesday the 20th. He has 100% blockage in his left leg artery. He will need to rest afterwards and not be worried with driving. I don’t drive much because I take too many medications. Even if he does feel well enough to make the trip. I will not. I have stressed about his procedure so much that I will “crash” afterwards and be sick for about 2 weeks. That’s what my nerves do to me.
I’ve been told not to worry, but that is like telling a sapling not to grow. It is my nature, I am a worrier. I have always been and will continue to be, no matter what anyone says. I’ve suffered trauma, but that isn’t the reason I worry. It is part of me, worrying. The trauma just made it worse. It caused anxiety. I hate that word, but I have serious anxiety. I take medication for it, but it breaks through the medication and I have to do deep breathing exercises to get me through it. I know I will have many anxiety attacks before the doctor comes out and tells me everything is fine.