Infuse, reprieve, survive – Daily Prompts
It has been nearly a week since I had my cystoscopy with hydrodistention. I was so concerned about going under, so afraid I would not survive this time. But as the time drew nearer, I had a reprieve in my thought pattern and realized I would feel much better after the surgery. After they infuse the bladder with the numbing medication, one would think you would wake up with no pain at all, but that is not the case, you are in extreme pain. Your bladder has just been reset, so to speak. It has been stretched beyond its limits and scar tissue has been broken apart. It has been taken out of it’s constricted state and reset to its normal state, whatever that might be for an IC patient.
I do not regret having the cysto/hydro, but I wish it had been closer to the date of my interstim replacement. The doctor had me scheduled for the 8th, but has bumped it to the 15th. He has to go out of town on the 8th. I will survive until then. I have my IC diet to keep my bladder calm until then. I have my IC diet to keep my bladder calm afterwards as well.
It is imperative that I maintain a bland diet to keep the flares away. I showed you what my bladder looked like in my last post. It was horrible, but maybe you did not get that all the blood vessels and blotches of blood were not supposed to be there because you did not see a normal bladder to compare it to. A normal bladder is smooth and does not have enlarged blood vessels or bloody blotches. While the IC bladder is riddled with bloody spots and enlarged veins and blood vessels. I will include pictures of both in this post.
I’m looking forward to the 15th, I will have a new interstim that should last at least 4 years, maybe 5 if I can run it a lower wattage. I really consider these things to be a miracle in the IC world, though some do not agree with me. For me, they have been a miracle.
Today I had a cystoscopy (a camera in my bladder) with hydrodistention (my bladder filled to capacity with medication) to help reset my bladder from being in a constricted state. The procedures always go together and are an actual surgery. I’ve had many of these done and they help with pain, frequency and urgency once the bladder settles down from the procedure.
I am in quite a bit of pain at this point in the day, the medications have worn off from the hospital and I’m back on my normal pain pills that are mild in comparison.
I write because I want people to see what an unhealthy bladder looks like. My doctor provided me with pictures of the inside of my bladder. All I can say is, no wonder I’m in pain!
Today was a bit trying, I was already nervous about being put under again so soon but almost instantly when they nurse started the antibiotic IV, my arm started turning red with an allergic reaction. It continued from the IV site to about 6 inches up my arm and around my arm, they stopped the antibiotic, gave me Benadryl and put ice on my arm until the redness subsided. Then they started it again and did the procedure.
When I woke up my arm was again wrapped in ice and whelped up worse than before. The nurse told me she could not believe they kept giving me the medication and she threw it in the trash and told me to write it on my allergy list. I had to stay in the hospital long enough for my arm to clear up, then I was allowed to leave, but there are still whelps on my arm, just not redness.
So when you look at this picture, notice the lighter spots, those are the color of a healthy bladder. A healthy bladder does not have any blood lines showing or blotches.
With no known cause or cure, it is very frustrating and painful to deal with this disease.
I’ve been fighting illnesses for a long time and writing poetry about them helped at one point. Unfortunately, I take a lot of medications now that squelch my creative abilities. Below are two that I wrote years ago when I first started having serious illness issues.
November 22, 2002
Wake! I command you,
Rest no more.
I thrive on weakness,
Your pleading I adore.
There is no refuge,
For you from my wrath.
I’m the dictator,
Of this unchosen path.
Seek as you wish,
None will you find,
With strength or stamina,
Greater than mine.
No pill, no potion,
No bottle, no vile,
Can destroy my presence,
Only weaken a while.
But I’ll soon return,
You’ll answer to me,
For I am your master,
Forever to be.
by Tina Brown 1999
So you’ve chosen this game to play,
Obviously unknowing of my abilities.
You’re unfamiliar with this territory,
Are you frightened?
You should be.
Deception is not for the weak,
Bad dreams are made of me.
I can hurt you and never lift a finger,
I can control you secretly.
I possess you as you once did me,
My wisdom is more than your strength,
My endurance will astound you,
No mercy will you reap.
Are you ready to begin?