It has been a long time since I have been online with this blog writing about my health. I have many illnesses/syndromes and they play a huge part in my day to day living. I am dealing with something all of the time, it is never ending. I have to take into consideration everything that I do, as to how it will affect me in the long run. I know that many of you deal with the same problems. Not necessarily the same illnesses, but the same way of dealing with day to day activities.
I’m currently dealing with my back hurting and in spasms. It tends to do this when I’m overly stressed. What has me overly stressed? It is the anniversary of the time of year my Mom passed away in 2014. The actual day has passed, but it hangs on to me for a while afterwards. She passed on the 13th of January in 2014. I miss her, but I have to get past it so I don’t fall apart, I have to keep myself together because falling apart will make me sicker in the long run, it always does.
I always have my bladder to deal with and my backache can be caused by my bladder but I don’t think the actual spasms are bladder related, I think the bladder related backache is more of a deeper pain. I also have to watch everything I eat or I will be dealing with a bladder flare up and if I dwell on the anniversary of my Mom’s passing it will affect my bladder too, so I have to put it out of my mind. There are all types of things that affect us when we are ill.
One thing that really bothers me about the way I am ill. I don’t like how people look at me when we park in a handicapped parking spot. I can walk into a store fine, it is coming out of the store that I’m hobbling and barely able to walk. I’ve been through the store and I’m worn out, aching and wishing I could sit and rest, be done with the day and sleep a while. There is no doubt on the way out of the store that I’m disabled, but that’s not when people look at me funny for parking in the handicap spot. How do you guys handle it? Am I doing something wrong? Can I do something different to keep people from looking at me weird?
And what do you do when you have a doctor that doesn’t do all he can do to make sure something isn’t wrong with you? After all of the things I’ve been diagnosed with, I worry about other things. Like degenerative things. I have so much wrong with me, and when I have symptoms of something new and they persist, I get on google and look up some things and then present to my doctor. He runs a few tests to appease me and then tells me, I told you nothing was wrong with you. Ticks me off! Smug turd!
I have a lot of questions for you guys. I just don’t get to talk to people with illnesses often, except my husband and he is just experiencing the things that the rest of us have been dealing with for years. So I’m having to help him through the depression of not getting to do what he wants to do all the time because of his illness.
I feel I’m rambling. I don’t want to do that, so I will stop writing and post this. I hope your day is a good one, I feel that I will have a good day because I feel decent, not great, but decent isn’t bad for one that has illnesses. My back will get better as the days pass by.
Thanks for listening! ~Tina
I have read through many blogs about people having chronic illnesses, fibromyalgia, multiple sclerosis and many other invisible illnesses. I have talked to people over the years of my time dealing with invisible illnesses and came to notice that most people with chronic pain, fibromyalgia, interstitial cystitis, and other illnesses, have had trauma in their lives before developing symptoms of these illnesses.
I have the theory that pure traumatic stress has caused our bodies to develop these illnesses or syndromes. And once one illness develops, the body becomes weakened, leading to more stress, leaving the body free to develop more illnesses which leads to even more stress.
It wasn’t until after PTSD, that I developed any of my invisible illnesses. I had a migraine occasionally, but they were not an issue until after the traumatic event. I had never heard of interstitial cystitis or fibromyalgia until after the PTSD.
I wonder how many of you, have had trauma in your past, or have been so overly stressed for a long period of time that your body weakened and chronic illness developed.
Please leave a comment if you think this theory holds any merit.