I wake every morning around 3. I visit the little girls room, then I make coffee. I’m not a 3 a.m. kind of person! What is happening to me? I used to sleep a good 8 to 12 hours when I was not sick. I was one of those people who had to have my rest. Now it seems I don’t need any sleep. But I don’t have any energy either. I need rest, but I can’t sleep. I’ve not been diagnosed with insomnia, but that may soon change.
I’ve tried staying up late but that just leads to less sleep because once I get up to visit the bathroom, I’m awake. I’m averaging about 4.5 hours of sleep a night. That’s how long it takes for my night-time medication to wear off and my bladder to start screaming. But once up, it is too early to take my morning medication, so I have to wait another 4 to 5 hours. Once I take it, I’m ready for a nap.
There have been times that I have not napped during the day hoping for better sleep at night but none was achieved. So I went back to napping because I know my body needs the rest or it wouldn’t be hurting so bad, all the time.
I looked up the meaning of insomnia and it describes what I am experiencing, but I do nothing to contribute to it. I have my single cup of coffee when I wake up and no other caffeine during the day. I use my CPAP machine every time I go to sleep and I stay awake long enough after taking my night-time medications to give them time to kick in so I’m not laying there thinking about every tiny thing I’ve ever done wrong my entire life. But approximately 4.5 hours in, I’m wide awake.
It is now 4:45 a.m. and I am already starting to feel tired and I’m aching all over. This must be insomnia. I never thought I would be one to have to worry about sleep. I see my dr on Monday, I will ask him if I have insomnia and what can be done about it because I’d like to get up at a normal time instead of 3 a.m.
I’m not finding much positivity here this morning. It’s quiet. A fan is running. Neither my husband or the dog are snoring. I should be able to sleep! But I’m unable. Something positive, let me think… I’ve got nothing. Have a good day.