Nervous – Daily Prompt

As with most people, chronic, invisible, or any illnesses require tests after tests, these tests can a make you nervous, but it so important to remain calm during the tests so they get the best possible results for your situation.

My husband has recently gone through multiple testings in an attempt to diagnose a pain in his side. At first they thought it was a pulled muscle but it doesn’t get any better with muscle relaxers or time.

He has had an ultrasound of his gallbladder, an EKG, just to be on the safe side, and an abdominal CT scan to look at his kidneys for stones. All with negative results. This coming Friday he will have another scan of his gall bladder, this time they will watch it work, to see if it is causing his unbearable pain.

I hope that it is his gall bladder so they can fix him and he won’t be in pain any longer. I’m not nearly as good a care giver as he is and I can’t stand to see him in pain.

I have stressed about his pain, his missing work and him being un-diagnosed. All this stress has thrown me into IC flare, which causes me great pain and the inability to function. But I’m working through my pain in an attempt to take care of him. It takes me several times of walking away and coming back, to get the dishwasher loaded. Same with cooking, but I’m doing oven dishes, so I don’t need to stand and watch what I’m cooking.

But I’m still nervous about his diagnosis or un-diagnosis because he is my husband and I can’t fix this! I should be able to fix this, or take the pain for him because I can handle it. I’m used to being in pain. I know there are many of you out there that wish you could take the pain from a loved one. It would be so much easier if we could, then they would never have to feel what we feel.

Since I can’t take his pain, I will try to be strong for him and hide my own pain so he can lean on me. I know you would do the same.

~Peace