How I Manage

A friend of mine asked me how I manage to handle all the illnesses I’ve been burdened with. My answer was simple, one day at a time. I don’t make long term plans and I don’t rely on but one person to understand my illnesses, besides the doctor and sometimes he is confused when I have a new symptom.

I tend to move at a much slower pace than the rest of the world. I don’t drive often because of all the medication I am on, so I don’t go many places. My husband is my one person with whom I rely. He drives me where I want to go, or need to go. I seldom have the energy to “want” to go anywhere. Thankfully, I do not care to “shop” as the normal woman does. I enjoy grocery shopping and I do any other shopping I need, online. If by chance I have to drive, I put off some of my medications until I am back home.

My house is not spotless, we live here, it is not a show place, and I don’t do a lot of down and dirty cleaning because I do not have the energy. I have to spread my energy out throughout the day to get anything accomplished. If there is anything that disrupts my routine, something is going to go undone. I do not have extra energy to spare. So yes, there might be a cob web here or there and some dog hair occasionally in the corner, but I get to it on the days it is scheduled. Allotted energy is how I live day to day. I must rest after a shower, putting on makeup means I won’t be doing something else, or I was feeling better than normal for the day. But there are days that I am completely down. A migraine or a bladder flare can put me down for days to weeks. Thankfully, my husband will step up and take over the day to day chores before he goes to work. I’m truly blessed to have him.

I take pain pills, I have to. I would never get out of bed if I did not. Most of my medications claim they will cause drowsiness, but I do not feel that side effect any longer except for the pills I take at night.

And, no, I do not allow myself to feel guilty anymore. It is not my fault that I am sick. It is not something that I can control. Again, I’m blessed with a husband that understands this and is willing to help me when I need it. I don’t ask “why me?” any more either. There is no answer for that question. I have these illnesses and I have to cope with them. It is not an option. I would say the hardest is the PTSD and anxiety attacks. They play with my mind and make me crazy sometimes, but my medication gets adjusted and I’m back on track again.

I no longer have the PTSD dreams, I think I had so many of them that I became immune, finally, after 22 years. But I do still have flashbacks when I am feeling really ill and I’m depressed more than usual. Depression is a real kicker, that’s a hard one to knock out. I can’t do it without medication. I’ve tried, but I’m not strong enough to overcome it on my own. Here again, my husband can see a difference in me when I am getting depressed and reports to my doctor so he can adjust my medication.

I was in therapy for 20 years, but my psychologist retired and I have not been able to find another in this area. They just don’t exist. I miss therapy. I learned a lot and have to implement it regularly. I just can’t over come depression on my own.

I’m also a chronic worrier. This causes excessive anxiety. Another tough one, but I have medication to help and it does a fairly good job.

I would say that I simply manage my illnesses by going slow and taking my time no matter the situation, otherwise I end up in bed for an indefinite amount of time.

I might not have covered everything. If you have questions, please click on the title of the page and ask questions in the comment box at the bottom of the page that loads. Have a great day and take a nap. I know I will!